Dweebity

I updated my OpenOffice suite because I wanted their excel clone. Why did I care? Because it's spring, and once again I am in love with my plants. I created a spreadsheet with all my gardening data on it. I'd show you, but I can't figure out how to get a screen capture of the stupid thing. Last year, I just scrawled things on my calendar and by December I was so done with it that I recycled the whole thing. Duh. I regret it now, of course, but such is life...

But I do have a couple pictures of my plants. That thing up there is salad burnett. I started 3 kinds of basil: regular, purple and lemon. I saved the seed from last year, which I hear is an iffy proposition with basil because it tends to cross pollinate. I guess I'll find out. I have carrots and chard coming up, too, but they don't look very interesting.

Also on my want list: a bigger squirty bottle. I need something to rinse the aphids off my poor strawberry plant already, like Holy Arthropoda, Batman! It isn't even may yet.

 

Spinach with Pink Grapefruit & Pecans

I don't like to eat salad in the winter, because eating cold things in cold weather makes me feel dreary. I think that when the weather has gotten warm enough to actually grow leafy things outdoors, that's time enough to eat them. This year the growing part wasn't just a theoretical guide; this is my first spinach crop. After I grew a bunch, I read the seed package; apparently it isn't really spinach (spinacia oleracea), it's New Zealand Spinach (tetragonia tetragonioides). Who knew. Who cares. It looks and tastes the same, as far as I can tell. And it went extremely well with the pink grapefruit I had sitting around.

a handful of spinach
a few pink grapefruit sections
pecans
olive oil
balsamic vinegar
salt & pepper

The thing about salads is that every item in it should be something you'd want to eat on its own. Keep it simple. For this one, use very fresh spinach, a very ripe sweet grapefruit, and a lashings of  olive oil. Mine has a medium amount of both fruity and peppery flavors to it. The grapefruit has enough acidity that you don't need a lot of balsamic, but it adds something, so pick a kind you really like. Plus, it makes it more fun to look at before you eat it, and who wouldn't want that?

To completely change the subject: inappropriate workplace conversations.  My manager at my retail hell tells me this story. It is useful to know at the beginning that his dog is a pug.

Him: So, my dad sends me a text message and asks me if you need a USB cable to play your ipod through the car stereo. I texted him back, and said no, you use a receiver because an ipod doesn't have a standard, USB port. Then he texts me back and says so, your ipod doesn't play through the car stereo?

(slight pause, with roll of eyes)
 
Him again: So I texted him right back and said No, it plays through my dog's vagina. I waited a second, then texted him again and said, Of course it plays through the car stereo, it's an ipod. Then a minute later my mom calls me and she says "I don't know what you said to your dad, but he was laughing so hard he had to pull over and stop driving." So I told my friend what I said, and he starts laughing, he goes, Yeah, it sounds a little tinny coming out of there, but other than that... (mimes small surprised dog)

Me: Tell him he needs to trade up to a St. Bernard, you get better woofers in those things.

Stinky

Last year I read about this stuff: indian black salt. It took me forever to find a place that had it, and that I could get to without a great hassle. The label says it smells like boiled eggs. It actually smells much worse. I'm very excited about it. I read some recipes that call for using a smidge of this on tofu scrambles to give them an eggy flavor. I'll tell you how it goes when I get some made up.

A couple weeks ago, I passed this store downtown and thought "Hm." The place is a little intimidating from the outside, it's all schmantzy lookin, and it has dim lighting, and all the spice jars are on these imposing looking dark wood cases with display lighting. But the saleswoman was very approachable and friendly, and didn't purse up her lip at me when I said that all I wanted was to try this stinky salt because hey, it sounded really weird. In fact she was really encouraging, and told me to feel free to open up the jars and smell things. (Free Smells!)

I also took some pictures of my ninja shoes. I loaded them onto my Flickr account, but I didn't put any tags on them, because when I put up the photos of my tabi socks, I immediately got a bunch of messages from foot-and-asian fetishists which sorta crept me out.

Go 'way, ya creepy creepist creeper! Sheeesh!!!

Ninja Shoes

IMG_2346, originally uploaded by Chinkypin.

I made these last year, probably in November. No, it had to be December? After I made the white pair anyway. I found the clogs at goodwill for $1.99 and knew I had to make some booties to go with.
I think the purple laces look pretty fetching.

I made them almost entirely on my 1917 White brand treadle sewing machine. I used a different machine to zigzag the soles to the uppers, and did little bit of hand finishing (blah).

The top stitching on the toes and heels reminds me of a baseball.

Whatcha been up to?

cowboy shirt, originally uploaded by Chinkypin.

I get asked that sometimes. Mostly I say " Oh, you know. This and that." Here's some of the this n that. I made this shirt for a fella. I showed him the plaid and he looked hesitant, then cautiously enthusiastic. I showed him the cowboy shirt pattern and he perked up and said "Awright!" He approved the pearl buttons. I told him that the cuffs would have to be green on the inside because I ran out of cloth and he was taken aback. But he said "Baby, make it however you want." And when I was done with it, he put it on and said "Man! This is a sweet-ass shirt! This is gonna be my new shirt for wearing out!"

So, you see why I like it so much.

I'm Martha Stewart, Bitch!

...but really, I did use a recipe out of her pie book. It even looks like it worked. It seems to have worked so well that I'm still suspicious. I don't even know why I fixated on this recipe, maybe because to me, it looked like an impossible pie. I'd used the crust recipe before, here it is:

2 1/2 cups all purpose flour
2 sticks butter
3 T sugar
2 egg yolks
1/2 tsp salt
4 T very cold water

Cut the flour, sugar, salt and sugar together until the biggest butter globs are about the size of rice grains. I mix the water with the egg yolks before adding it to the flour, but it's not crucial. Don't over-work the wet dough! Just smash it together enough to get it all evenly combined. There's enough butter in it to make it act just like play-doh. This makes enough pastry for a 2-crusted 11 inch pie. I only have an 8 inch pan, so I've got some extra. You can make the dough ahead of time and chill it until you need to use it, if you want.

Ok, well and good. But the filling sounded too simple to be true. It goes like this:

2 lemons
1 1/2 cups sugar
4 eggs and 1 egg white

Cut one lemon into paper thin slices, rind and all. Cut the rind and pith off the other lemon, and slice it as thin as you can. Toss the lemons with the sugar and cover, leave it in the fridge for about 24 hours. The next day, preheat the oven to 450. Roll out your crust, beat the eggs and mix them with the lemons & sugar, and pour it into the pie shell.  Weird, huh? There's no fat or starch in the filling, it's all about the eggs.

I can't say I had high hopes about this. I was sure the filling would do something awful. But it seems to have set up, unlike many other pies I have attempted in the past. I will say though, that you need to use a mandoline to prep the lemon with the rind on it. Don't try to make pretty slices, nobody will see it anyway. The idea is for the long period of soaking in their own juice to de-bitter the rinds. A good sharp knife is fine for the other lemon.

Top it with another round of crust. I cut the slashes in the crust before putting it on the pie, the filling is totally liquid so if you want decorative cuts you gotta do it first. Bake at 450 for 15 minutes, turn down the heat to 375 and cook for another half hour. I lay a sheet of tinfoil over mine after the first 15 min because this crust recipe tends to get burn-y faster than crusts without added sugar.


It's like a big lemon bar, with a little texture. Next time, I'm gonna add some herbs. I bet lavender flowers, or rosemary, or mint would be pretty good.  Maybe even oregano.

I've been pre-occupied

I have not been cooking anything photogenic. Potato Leek Soup is still just a bowl of grayish goop, no matter how tasty it is.

Sunchoke chips are pretty yummy too, but they look just like potato chips, in any case, they didn't sit around long enough to get a picture. It's the weather. It has been so lovely out, and my plants are doing lots of interesting things.















I have figured out a couple things since last year:








Mustard grows very quickly, but is no fun to eat. Radishes are at least as fun to grow, and the eating part is much more satisfying.


These were the sweetest, tenderest radishes I can remember ever having eaten.



Cilantro starts slowly. Very slowly. But you better give it its own pot, because it gets enormous.

Does anybody know what is making my spinach do this? The ones on the right are looking strangely anemic. Spinach is also very satisfying to grow; it starts early and grows vigorously. Hopefully, I will like to eat it more than mustard.












Speaking of vigorous growers, here are my borage plants. I read that "you won't need more than one" and boy, they were right. On the left, you see that in an optimistic spirit, I planted five.

Five. Seeds. The lefthand picture is from the 18th, the righthand picture, from the 26th. I had to pull out 2 of them, I'm calling the lettuce in the same pot a loss. Borage is very spiny, we had a windstorm and the prickers on the borage leaves savaged the lettuce while flapping around in the breeze.


But that's all right, because lettuce is another of the things I realized that I don't care enough about to bother growing. Some people say that you should grow things that are unusual or that would be expensive to buy. To some extent, this is true, but I think that one should grow the things that one is likely to eat. Yes I could buy spinach, and radishes, but it's also true that I actually do buy them sometimes. Which means that I like eating them enough to go the effort of growing them.  I never buy lettuce.

And this is my tea plant. I don't guess that I will ever be able to harvest any amount of tea from it. But I like the idea.

Oriental Field Trip

Chinese grocery stores are still very fascinating to me. Fubonn is the good one within convenient driving distance from me, and on Sunday I got a whole bunch of goofy things. I went partly because I was out of rice and vinegar, and soysauce, and partly in a spirit of adventure, and I acquired some stuff I don't usually get.

The little round cake at the left is palm sugar. I have never used it, but hopefully I will now. It tastes less sweet than brown or white sugar, is a little malty, and almost fruity. I could eat it like candy, it's quite tasty.

Pineapple cakes!!! I love these. Somebody brought us some when I was a kid, and I have had an inordinate fondness for them ever since. The cake part is very crumbly and sort of coconutty. I don't think the package is telling the truth when it says they are made with soybean oil. And when it says 'pineapple jam' it doesn't have a subset of ingredients for that. Very cryptic, if you ask me. I was super excited when I found a recipe online to make them. I haven't yet tried it, but I keep thinking about it.

Haw flakes. I got them because the first time I had them, I thought they were totally nasty, and I wanted to share how gross they were. But I find that they aren't nearly as repellant as I recall. They are slightly sweet, slightly fruity, in a tart, apple-ish way, and because they seem to be composed mainly of sugar, they are almost crunchy and granular at the first bite. Plus, they come in that super oriental paper wrapper.

Fish snacks. I actually like the ones that are made of raw dried fish and glazed with a sweet soy-based marinade. These may be pre-cooked, and they have a chili powder seasoning on them. Most charitably described as pungent. Fairminded persons would say they are totally foul. I like them on soup.

Vegetarian Mushroom Fluff. How could I pass up something that says that on it? It is delicious. From the picture, I would guess that it is made of shiitake mushrooms, seasoned and deep fried to a crisp, then pounded into a fibrous mass. In function, I think it is related to the japanese rice seasoning mixes which usually have a combination of seaweed and fish flakes in them. If the package does not lie, it is a vegan product. The flavor reminds me of a really good beef & mushroom stock, with some crispy nutty things going on as well.

Sesame paste. I hope I got the right kind. Sesame paste can be made of either raw or cooked sesame seeds. I wanted raw, but I haven't tasted it yet. It's pretty much just tahini, but the texture is a little finer. It goes in salad dressing, meat dishes and on noodles. And some baked things too, probably.

Dried shiitakes. Gotta have 'em for making soup. And chinese tamales.

Rice vinegar. Again for the salad dressing. It's milder and less pungent than cider vinegar, which is an acceptable substitute. But it really is better for seasoning sushi rice.

I got some chopsticks. These are the chinese kind. I don't like japanese style ones, they're too pointy.

Buckwheat soba. They have a grassy taste, and the texture is more assertive than plain wheat noodles. I got some fresh ones out of the refrigerator case one time, and I just didn't eat them up fast enough. The dried ones are just fine. They make a great cold salad for hot weather with green onions, ham slivers and a vinaigrette with a little hot pepper.

A couple things didn't make it into the picture: a bag of wide rice noodles, (yummy) the package of  pandanus flavored candies, (ick) and the mango drink which had little gelatinous chunks of baby coconut floating in it (woah). And a bag of basil seeds. I got an indian cookbook for 4 bucks, and it's got a recipe for a basil seed dessert drink. It looks like little tiny frog spawn once it's hydrated, how cool is that?

Sartorial Cream of Cthulhu Soup

Food and clothing are my two main obsessions, and mostly this post is about clothes. This vest, in particular. It must be the ugliest damn thing I've ever made. But it reminds me of a phenomenon I usually encounter when cooking; that of using up leftovers. Which brings me to the soup of the title.

Alas, no pictures were taken of the soup. It was a thing for the ages. For those of you who do not know the story of the cream of cthulhu soup, it was something my dad made when I was in high school. It was a cream soup. It otherwise consisted mainly of turkey feet and squid heads.

No foolin.

It was the color of a dirty eraser, was slightly curdled, opaque, and had claws and tentacles rising up out of it. I think nobody but my dad and Pete had the balls to actually try eating it. It was, as dad said, "a little strange". It has nothing whatsoever to do with this vest, except the similarity in mode of manufacture. Not so long ago, at a family dinner, something recalled the infamous soup to me, and as usual I said something rhetorical-'what could he have been thinking?' blah blah. Pete, who witnessed its birth, so to speak, described a cascading series of accidents and errors the result of which was so startling, and bore so little resemblance to the original concept that the finished product acquired a near mythic stature.

Now, I don't think my vest has anything like that degree of verve. The thing is, I could not tell you what I thought this was going to look like when I started out. I liked the plaid. The cloth has a nice feel, I thought the colors would go well with the rest of my clothes. And I had a good-ish bit left from making a skirt. But then it seemed that there wasn't quite enough to make a vest. Unless I cut it out on the bias. But then there really wasn't enough to match any of the plaids. Oh well. And then there were the darts, which changed the direction of the stripes halfway down the front. And I had to cut the back in 2 pieces, not one, so there was yet another seam. Then I thought that patch pockets would be so much easier, and maybe they would look cool if I cut those on the diagonal as well... And after that, what the hell, giant gold buttons and red topstitching? Might as well go with it.

Do I think it was waste of my efforts? No way. Do I like it? Hell yes. I have worn it in public 3 times now, and each time it has inspired me to pull together the goofiest outfits and wear them with aplomb. Clothing should be fun, and sometimes it should be downright funny. This stupid vest cracks me up. I'm gonna wear it until everybody who knows me is sick of it. Maybe someday I will wear it to pick up my nieces at school, and it will embarrass them. And if by some miracle, it survives that long, in some far distant time, maybe one of them will be a stylish young woman digging through my old crap and she will pick up my ugly vest any say Holy shit! I remember this thing! Can I wear it?

That's how I got my pants.

'Stolen' Apple Pancakes

Which is what the handwritten recipe in my mom's recipe notebook says.

I associate a childhood trip to chicago with this recipe. There was a pancake restaurant. I think I was in first grade, and I did not appreciate it. I have never been a good traveler, nor a person who enjoys meeting strangers. Going to Chicago was something I wanted to do not because I actually enjoyed the experience, but because like all children, I didn't want to miss out on anything that might be fun. How was I to know at that age that I was destined to be a curmudgeon? I was six.

The pancake restaurant was noisy, crowded, I was at a table with many strangers, and I don't remember what I ordered. Waffles, maybe. With strawberries, because we never had such exotic things at home, but I don't think they lived up to the expectations I had of them. Somebody else ordered the apple pancakes. I don't know if that was when dad first had them or what, but evidently they made a great impression on him, because this recipe showed up in mom's cookbook. 'Stolen' I assume because dad had to approximate the originals on his own.

On the other hand, while thinking about this recipe brings up memories of some very uncomfortable family excursions, the pancakes themselves, and the making of them, impart a feeling of great wellbeing. Even, I hate to admit it, of nostalgia! This was a special occasion breakfast to begin with, and later on, Dad would just decide that he wanted apple pancakes from time to time. Sometimes the tai chi group would come over, Dad would make a bunch of these things, and the house would smell like hot cooking oil and sugar all day.

The pictures are not that great, but I plead ravenous impatience to eat breakfast.

1 large apple, 2 would have been better
1 or 2 T cooking oil, canola or like that, not olive.
a teensy pinch of salt

a generous handful of brown sugar
punkin pie spice or cinnamon, if you like

I have no idea what the pancake recipe was on that card. I know that it used only white flour. It had a bunch of eggs in it. I was feeling lazy, and just used pancake mix: TJ's multigrain. It makes a fluffier, lighter dough than the ones Dad made, but I like things to be less heavy than he did. Also, do not attempt to make this in a flimsy pan or one with a non-stick coating.

1 1/2 c pancake mix
1 egg
1 cup water
a dab of oil

Pre-heat the oven to 475.

Peel and slice the apple into 1/4 inch pieces or so. Get the oil pretty hot in a well seasoned all metal skillet and throw in the apples and a sprinkle of salt. The salt is very important, it makes the apples sweat, and keeps them from being one dimensionally sweet. When the apples are a teensy bit brown, turn them once and sprinkle the brown sugar and spice over them. The sugar will begin to caramelize very rapidly.

Mix up the batter ingredients up really fast, and don't worry about a few lumps. You will actually only need to use about 2/3 of the batter. Pour the batter over the apples and cover for a few seconds. When the caramel begins to ooze up around the edges and through any little holes, remove the cover and put the skillet in the oven to finish cooking.

When the pancake is just barely done and is starting to brown at the edges, take it out, cover it and let it sit for about 3 minutes. This lets the pancake finish cooking, and allows the apples to steam loose from the pan a bit. Turn the pancake out onto a plate and poke any apple bits back into it that have got stuck in the pan. Eat with scrambled eggs and cheddar cheese.

Definitely, this is for eating with company. It will taste just as delicious by yourself, but it would be a terrible pity to have nobody to enjoy it with.