The Most Frustrating Project in the World

grrrrr....

Among other things that Mom sent me last year was a large piece of coral-peach colored silk chiffon. It's just the most lovely stuff ever. I have a pattern for a blouse that is probably from the mid 1960's, and I thought it would be perfect for that, what with the ruffles and all. The chiffon is super soft, and the shade of pink is flattering, I was all excited.

Yup. Sheer.

Then I decided the pattern needed fixing. I originally thought I'd be able to use a single layer of fabric, but I didn't like the idea of having all the seams show, because the material isn't just slightly sheer, it is totally transparent. So I thought that I'd use a double layer. So, twice as much cutting.

Then I decided that I don't like the straight ruffles that the pattern came with. I wanted circular ruffles. So, cutting bias shapes. Twice each.

Finally, I decided that if I was going to double layer the material, I might as well get rid of the button front and make it a pull over. That may well have been my only wise decision.

Cutting silk chiffon is a bitch. It wiggles around on the cutting board like a sea salp with palsy. It sticks to itself. It is so fine that it is nearly impossible to pick up. It takes static cling like you wouldn't believe. You have to iron it with extreme caution, or you will cook it to death. And the thing that made me want to wear it the most, the drapey, soft, squishy texture, makes it nearly impossible to be sure that when it's laying down, the grain of the cloth really is straight.

I think this vexed thing has been in pieces on my table since late July or early august, and it is only just now beginning to look like a shirt.

There is one thing that I am still pretty geeked about though. I figured out a method for making the bust darts in 2 layers of this most irritating material.

1. Using a fine, slippery thread, baste down the center line of the dart.

2. With the same kind of thread, baste across the width of the dart, making sure that each stitch is the same length on each side of the dart, as in the picture.

3. Grab both ends of the basting thread and pull it taut.

The description doesn't make a lot of sense, so here is a little video.

Ta Dah!

This is why men do not sew

 

"The Apache Shirt" ?!?   W. T. F.

Ok, let's set aside the 40-odd years since this thing was printed. Let's even set aside, for a moment, as difficult as it is, the fact that this thing just screams GAAAYYYY, and why it is just wrong that gayness should be stigmatized.

That guy looks mortally embarrassed. And he should be. You know why? Because he looks stupid. Because he does not look cool. Who looked cool in 1965? This guy looked cool. Check him out, dude's a badass. He ain't wearin no 'apache' shirt.

Ok, ok, apples and oranges you say. This is a hippy aesthetic we're striving for, not a greaser thing, or whatever this fella has going on. Fine. Look at this guy then. He's not wearing a dopey ass shirt either, because he's a real hippy hanging out at woodstock, and he isn't wearing any shirt at all, son!

Men do not want to look stupid. The options for sewing dude stuff will almost invariably make you look positively imbecillic. This is a damned shame. Lots of things about sewing are manly, even by the most neanderthal, archaic, family-values, poo-smelling standards. Sewing itself requires good hand-eye coordination, and a knack for geometry don't come amiss. It takes stamina. Trust me, once you've spent 4 hours wrestling 2 layers of canvas, 2 layers of fabric and 14 yards each of boning and bone casing through a machine about 150 times, you begin to understand why corsetmaking guilds in the 16th century were exclusively male: upper body strength. (Well, and trade monopolies, but you know.) Traditionally, all tailors were men. But there is much in sewing for the modern man as well! Sewing machines are manly. There are moving parts, greasy pistons, immanent danger of serious bodily harm by electric shock, blunt force and sharp objects moving at astonishing speed. There is engineering history, metallurgy, and industrial design.

And here's the kicker: sewing offers the potential ability for an otherwise unimpressive individual to slay the object of his desire by demonstrating competence on a daily basis.

Gentlemen, start your machines.

Tabi

Tabi, originally uploaded by Chinkypin.

Socks with toes! Finally! Next time , I'll make them smaller to account for the surprising amount of stretch that even a firmly woven fabric will have when worn on the feet. Also, I will do them properly, with a lining.